Hi I am Riya..I am 35 ...I am orphan ...I was take care by my mom sister as she was not happy in me at age of 16 she throw me out of the house...after my parents dead all my relationship got flushed ...as I came to my frnds ..she was bk of money ..thn I got married and got a birth to girl baby after fews days I saw my hubby had affair with her x lover and he got married to her...I totally broken there ...came out of that house and I was staying in paying guest..but my loneliness is killing me day by day I don't no wht to to as I don't have any frnds who every come to me thy see at me and laugh ...you God made my faith like this ..he would have kill me instead of dieing daily...plz suggest me wht should I do ...d.riyajain@Gmail. Com u can mail me

I'm actually a care assistant looking after people with spinal and brain injuries. I feel so selfish that they are stuck in a bed all day unable to move or communicate. I'm fully able, I have a 10yr clever son, I have a partner who is his real father. We live together, we both work, money is fine. What do I have to complain about? But I'm so utterly fed up and unhappy with life. Literally couldn't even do my housework today.. I led in my bed staring out the window all day. I have no willpower or motivation for anything. I don't really have any friends cos I never want to go out anywhere. I wish I could drag myself from my mind set but I just can't seem too. I'm a good looking, slim figure girl. Men and women always compliment me.. however.. I feel like I'm an alien, like I don't fit in and I'm not like everyone else but I'm pretending. What's wrong with my head? I should be loving life and going out enjoying myself. But I can't. I honestly feel I'm faking it and I'm not a real human. I don't understand it. I do love my partner but I find things to argue with him. Im trying so hard to push him away from me, i try kicking him out for no reason. Why do I do this? I'm a total miserable mess and I really have no right to be. I know millions would kill to be me and I'm not interested in having it myself. Any ideas on what's happening to me??

It is so naive to think you can cultivate a positive attitude. I'm so sick of this moronic thinking. If someone with depression could cultivate a positive attitude which would somehow raise their mood I think they would be doing it. I'll give you an insight into real depression. If someone walked up to me and gave me a million dollars it would not take me out of depression.