I want help[ but afraid, In my circle of life, I am successful, but too many people depend on me for their livelihood. I want to feel joy but I feel burdened by life's little nuances. I feel if I go into my community which is very tight knit, and loves to gossip, I will be a laughing stock. Which quite frankly I am. " to big for my britches" as some say, and they are correct. I tried to first kill myself at the age of 12, swallowing my mother's valium . didn't work, I tried again when I was 17, stolen a bottle of aspirin and took the whole bottle, just got violently sick and a terrible ringing in my ear and major embarrassment to people around me to see how much of a crazy pyscho I really am. I am adopted, and the family that got me really wanted something different. I know this because when they got divorced and had their own families I was left on the sidelines. I was abused by stepparents in the most horridness ways, and it was accepted by my adopted parents because they didn't want to make waves with their new families. Because of this I real I can not trust anyone. I have no friends because my escape was work. I started working when I was 14, every night, every weekend, I worked. no time for friends, and I did really well. I bought the business, made it a success and now here I am. I am burnt out, it's been 30 years at the place I bought. Government, taxes, workmens comp insurance, filling out paperwork for people who don't want to work. dealing with helicopter parents, demanding me to have their child only work 3 hours a week because someday their going to medical school and they need time to study and play sports, please your child is not that special! I am tired of taking care of people when they themselves don't care, but just want a free ride. I have worked very hard and it doesn't seem to matter! I am pissed off, and frustrated. I was told if you work hard life will pay off, not true! I have been extremely poor, raped, beaten, and much more, but I thought I could change my destiny. I couldn't. I am angry, an alcoholic and depressed. so much for the American dream. I simply do not have faith in mankind. I am going to be 44 and my future is grimm.

I hate my life because nothing can seem to go right. School, I got extremely good grades all through, until it got to my GCSE's where I started failing everything - right at the crucial time. Since then, ive started college where I haven't passed anything yet, giving me huge confidence. Countless people make fun of me for being homosexual, and not particularly attractive, and for not being really smart. Any chance I get at happiness lasts for a week maximum, before someone is out there to ruin it for me. I try and get a boyfriend, only to have his ex-boyfriend turn most of my "friends" against me, and it ended in us breaking up. College and work is stressing me out to the point of having breakdowns almost every day. I have tried to kill myself several times, only to have that fail too. My mother found my blade, and simply threw it in the bin - she'd seen the scars on my arms, and she'd seen the blade, and she didnt seem to care. I used to get beaten by my step-dad. I have an incurable eye condition, and another incurable condition in my knee, so I don't even really have my health. I just want it all to end. I really do.

jeez louise the comments...

I hate my life. Mostly hate myself. I let everyone I love down. I ruined a perfectly good relationship for some guy I didn't know. I ended up pregnant and embarrassing my parents. At just age 16 with the guy I never loved. That was just the beginning, it was now time for me to grow up. My whole pregnancy was a battle with the baby daddy. He ended up moving in with me at my parents house. Only to find out that we would began to fight,fight, and fight. I realized what a big mistake I had made and wish I can go back in time to before shit was so heavy. I would cry some night just thinking about the pass. I had to move on the pass is behind I was now living and moving forward. Things get better when you forgive and move on from what ever is holding you back! As things got better for me once I gave birth to my beautiful son at just age 17. My life was never going to be the same . My life is better I have some thing to live for . My baby daddy and I, aren't all there yet but where getting there. Are bond grows as are son grows ! We have are own place just at 17 (me) him (19) . & a little Honda lol I never thought my life would end up like this . I seriously thought I would be a single mom cause we didn't love each other. I mean he says he always loved me but I was a bitch when I was pregnant ???? Now that I have a son I realized why my parents were the way they were to me. They didn't want to see me struggle. They always want the best for me. I might have not realized cause I wanted to do whatever the fuck I wanted . I thought they never favored me . Your parents love all of you the same ! Some people need to let go of jealously and stop poisoning your hearts. Open up your eyes and ask your self . Why ? Thing first of what you have done not others . Don't hate your life cause of others ! Don't let the little things inpower your life . You better own and live it to the fullest! Let nobody & nothing make you feel less of a person . We are all beautiful and you will find someone. NEVER LOSE FAITH.

I love you Anita and I'm gonna commit suicide since you are no more. My girlfriend's death has made me a failure in Life, my career and to my family and hers. The only remedy is joining her wherever she's at. My life is mesmerized. I'm dying of depression but I really need a means of dying fast and quick but How? When I'm a coward? When I'm scared of the Nemesis of suicidal act? My life is complicated..

I hate my life. 8 years ago I dumped my loving girlfriend for another one. I regretted this almost immediately, because she treated me like shit most of the times, but somehow the new girlfriend is now my wife. She is like two persons in one... most of the time she lives in a world of her own and it makes me feel alone in the world, but when she needs me she comes out and I am always there for her... because I just crave company and I cannot miss the opportunity. We live mostly parallel lives and each one was doing his own thing. One year ago we moved to a new country and one of the main reasons was that I knew we would be forced to build our new life together, so we would be forced to have a common life and cooperate. Things got a little better between us because of this, but unfortunately I was unhappy with my job and I just had to quit. She made my life hell so I managed to find another one. She never worked a day in her life... not even now getting a job to help me does not cross her mind. We could both get some lower-paying jobs with less stress, but no, I had to find a new high-paying job which I hate. Every night I wake up many-many times and am so, so happy that it is not morning yet and that I can get back to sleep. It's like the reality is the nightmare and my dreams are the reality I want. Now I am back in a job I hate and I hope that I will have the balls to quit tomorrow. But that would also mean that our life here is over and we have to go back to our home country. Which means going back to the same old shit as before. She managed to make some friends here and she will forever be hateful and vengeful because of this. She will make my life hell, even more than before. She probably does not even like me and forces herself to be in this relationship because it allows her to not work. I am a wreck because of my current and previous jobs. But she just wants me to continue. Since I moved here I started smoking again after two years of quitting smoking and I started to drink heavily almost every day and to abuse drugs, which even got me to the hospital once. I would expect that someone who lives with me and knows me would understand that thing are very wrong and would try to help me. She just wants me to continue as long as we continue to stay here and she does not need to work. Most of all, I hate myself because I don't have the balls to kick the bitch out of my life. I'm 35 and I still have many years ahead. I am just terrified of being alone. I hate myself so much for this that I want to die. I hope that I will resign tomorrow.. but I know that she will destroy me emotionally for this. I am so afraid. I am such a pussy that I probably deserve all this.

I hate my life. I am broke. My fiancé dumped me before our wedding 6 yrs ago. A new love of my life later came and left me 3 yrs ago. My heart aches. 3 yrs later I have finally found courage to date, and no one wants me. They only want to fuck me. I hate my life. I wish I were dead.

I am 24 years old. Never in love or in a relationship. Unemployed and still live with my parents. I tried to find a job since so long but its worthless. I am worthless. Feels like I don't deserve to be live. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I am not enjoying stuff I used to love doing. I love cooking, reading. But now everything seems so weird. I don't want to live anymore. Many times I think about committing suicide. But I guess I don't have courage to do that either. I have a family. But seems like they don't understand what am I going through. I have a big sister. And I don't like being compared to her all the time. About the grades, job, beauty. But I am me. I can't be like her all the time. Many of our family members don't even know my name. I want to escape. Or become invisible. Some times I don't understand why I feel like this. I hate my life.

I hate my life. I hate my job. My ex cheated on me and left me in a financial mess. I started straightening that out but a new boss took over. He's a bully and watches everything I do. If he was gone my job would be better. I am so stressed out there. The pay is better than anything else I could find right now and I don't want to start from square one again. I'm over weight (100 lbs less than a few years ago) but not skinny. Most men want thin. I've dated but I seem to be a magnet for losers. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I've thought about suicide and I have the means but I fight it every day. I don't know why I fight it but I do. I feel lost.

I am 59. Female. I have been raped and tormented. I lost my husband several years ago. I don't use alcohol or drugs, but God is it hard to keep faith with God. I don't know what to do. I read your comments and I understand the loneliness and sadness. I wanted to commit suicide in May of this year. God wouldn't let me. Why I am still here I don't know. All I can ask is for your prayers and I will keep each of you in mine. Phil 4:4,6-9.