I am twenty and have been with my twenty eight year old boyfriend for a year and a half between 3-5 months into our relationship I realised he drank too much. I think at first I was in denial about how bad the problem was and it was only when I drank with him for two weeks solid that it was a real issue I couldn't remember the last time I hadn't had a drink. Even at this point I was scared to suggest that he had an issue as his mother is an alcoholic and he regularly got upset about it. I simply tried to suggest that we did other things rather than drinking hoping against hope that it was just a habit we had gotten ourselves into and that this cycle could easily be broken by filling up our time with other things.....I was wrong. By the time it was approaching our 1st anniversary I was seriously concerned and I think he acknowledged this due to the huge increase in our arguing (we only ever argue when hes drunk). At this point he suggested to do go sober for October this appeared to be a big turning point and I was really impressed at his efforts. However as soon as the month was up he went straight back to his old ways. Christmas came and saw a huge increase in his drinking and by mid January he had made a suicide attempt while drunk. After speaking with doctors and increasing his anti depressants he was told to avoid drink at all costs. the first time he drank he had 1 pint I wasn't impressed but felt this had shown some level of determination and I hate to say it but gave him praise for knowing when to stop, the second time he drank he had two pints again I was annoyed at the fact that he had drank but was glad he wasn't drunk he is drinking tonight and he is having 4 pints apparently. I'm at my breaking point and don't know what to do he knows that if things don't change this time that I will leave him and as much as I know its only fair to myself to do so I feel a huge responsibility almost as if it does come to me leaving him that I've failed to save him

I'm an alcoholic and this is all total bullshit

My husband of 17 years is a functional alcoholic, but he considers himself a heavy drinker. I believe that drinking 3 to 5 20oz glasses of straight vodka per night qualifies. I have done many of the donts on this list. Hidden and poured out the vodka, drunk with him on occasion, pled with him to get help, yelled at him to get help. He refuses. The writer is correct that this type of enablement only leads them to blame you more. He embarrasses me in public, stumbled out of our friends daughters 13th bday party, shames and guilts me in public, calls me a bad wife, worthless, and so many horrible names. Tonight he threw a chair because I wont sleep with him when he is drunk. He is furious. I am so lonely. I pray God helps him and protects my sweet children. But they have seen and heard too much already. I cannot divorce him. I cant stomach the idea of the kids not having me there to intervene when its needed. So Im setting boundaries with him and I hope this at least gives me some peace of mind. Im staying calmer, no longer covering for him in any way, and separating emotionally so I am not torn apart. I pray for him. Please pray for me.

Kirsten, when I was reading ur story, I felt as though I was reading my own story. It is exactly the way me and my 13 yr. old son are living. My biggest fear is that he is going to intervene in order to protect me someday and someone is going to get hurt. I have asked myself a 1000 times why I stay with him, and I've come to the conclusion if I divorce him I have no say so of what or where he goes with our son. Therfore I cannot protect him. I am so angry and I hate the fact that my son has to live this way. The abuse is getting way out of hand! I'm asking those of you that are believers to please lift us up n prayer. Thanks and my heart and prayers go out to all of you in this situation especially the kids.

I have been married to my husband 15 years and we have a beautiful 11 year old daughter. I dealt with my husband being a functional alcoholic for years. When I thought things were getting better, he would slip again. Two months ago, I told him I couldn't take it anymore and once again he said he would go to counseling. I again believed him. He went to counseling for 5 weeks and then he quit saying he didn't think he needed to go anymore. April 9th - I came home from work and could tell he had been drinking. He wasn't falling down drunk and anyone else probably wouldn't have known he'd been drinking, but after being with him as long as I have, I knew. This of course started an argument and ended with the worst argument we've ever had. As I am now typing this, I am also now sitting here with all of the bruises that are slowly fading away. A neighbor called the police and they took my husband away in handcuffs. Thank God my daughter didn't witness the abuse, but she did see him being taken away and how I looked after he attacked me. I haven't talked or seen him since that day because there is a pfa in place until his court hearing. Except for my immediate family and his family, others don't know that he suffers from this disease and also depression. He can be the most loving father and husband at times, but the alcohol and depression can turn him into a completely different person. He even belongs to one of our churches committees and ever body there think he is the greatest. As much as I am scared of what I am going to do financially, since I can not afford our house on my own and have no clue of what I'm going to do, I actually feel relief when I come home from work and know he will not be there and me not having to walk on eggshells or wondering if he's been drinking. Of course he is saying he wants us to be a happy family again and he has an appt with our pastor and is going to attend AA's meetings. I really hope he gets the help he needs, but am not confident that he will. Of course I still love him, and there will always be a place in my heart for him, but I miss the person he used to be and not the person he is now. I actually feel strong enough now where I can say I'm done. If down the road, he proves himself, then maybe we can try again. What breaks my heart the most though, is the effect it is having on my daughter cause she loves him so much and of course he is telling her that he is going to get help and that he loves us so much. I use to pray to God to help me find the answers and become a stronger person, but now I pray to God that my husband can find the strength to get the help he needs.

Married 9 years, two kids, married to functional alcoholic. Don't know how to be happy living this way. Every time he says he will stop its only days, if I am lucky, before he changes his tune to I can control it. And slowly everyday it one more beer than the last night. So sad that he will never address the effect he could be having on our two young sons. Every time I ask him to make a journal and write down these feelings of why things need to change, he refuses. Praying for all affected by alcohol.

Dear readers , I am at my end. I don't know how to cope with my husband alcoholism any longer. It's been too long and getting worse and worse. We have two children. One at the age of understanding it all and a little one who needs both of her parents so so much. His alcoholism has caused cheating, has caused him leaving the house for days, for missing important events such as my birthday to going drunk to a school meeting and making myself feel so embarrassed and ashamed. His alcoholism has made some big damage in our relationship in our lives as a family and he still don't see it. I know the great man that he is , I still get that man from time to time on a short period when away from all temptations. But then once back to the real world his focused is lost. I am lost. He passes out so drunk that he pees himself, for the longest next day I would clean all up with tears falling down my face, lately I've been letting him deal with it. How can you not be bothered to sleep in your piss. How can you not bother walking the door stumbling everywhere , how can he not bother missing out on his family and children . How can he let all this happen and not do a thing about it. How can you not want help when you have hit rock bottom . I have tried it all to help but I can't help someone who doesn't seek for help . I am shattered . I am empty by his acting , I do it all for the kids to not see and truth is they don't see much because I keep the family together I focus on them . Please help .

Hi all you sufferers i am in a relationship with a woman 12 years my junior im 64, she drinks and has prescription drugs which seem to Have the same effect as drinking. I have left that girl so many times.........but i go back because i love her. I find the most embarrasing things are that i feel inadequate because my partner is an alcaholic and i feel my friends look down on me because my girl friend is an alcaholic. She keeps telling me shes trying to stop drinking but i constantly find hidden drinks and i am unable to trust her. That is the worst part the inability to trust, how can you love someone you dont trust? John

Just trying to put my happines and satisfaction first, not tied to the alcoholic; hard to learn to do. But I will.

Great Reading! I have lived with an alcoholic for 14 yrs now . I have so much anger built up inside of me for this man .!! I. He is narcissist wich are so full of themselves anyway they can do no wrong ! I struggle financially ,emotionally and spiritually ! People say get out leave him ! Folks in ain't that easy number one financely im strapped I am raising a beautiful daughter who is in high school now and dosent want to be on welfare ! I work but it's still hard now days food is ridiculous ! To those of you who have the means to get out of it Honey run . It will never get any better ! !!! If they do get help then your always worried about them relapsing ! I wish I had run when his drinking got so bad ! But now I am in a place were I can't . Trust me though his day is coming ! Alcoholics are very selfish people who live in a fantasy world of living life the way they want to and the hell with everyone else.