Things I Wish Drivers Would Stop Doing in Front of My Kid

Please don’t throw trash out the window while driving

How about we also include at red lights, too. And while I know you’ll have things to send me about the biodegradability of the apple core you just lobbed out the freeway, I just need you to plant that core at your house. From freeway speeds, I can’t tell if you’re throwing fruit or junk mail, and my kid can’t either.

Please don’t use a parking lot as a race track

Here’s the deal: Sometimes kids let go of their parents’ hands in parking lots. IT SUCKS. It also really, really sucks when it happens and then a car zooms around hunting for a parking space. Grocery store parking lots, Target parking lots — if kids are there with their parents, assume that at some point a little person may run into the middle of the parking lot. Please be careful.

Please don’t speed through my residential neighborhood (or anyone’s residential neighborhood)

Not OK.

Please don’t forget about crosswalks — people use them.

Just a friendly reminder to look at what is happening (or possibly walking) in front of you.

Please don’t text at red lights next to us

I’ve given the “Texting is not safe in the car” speech so many times that now if my guy sees someone in another car doing it while driving, he freaks out a bit.

Please don’t have volatile phone conversations when you have the windows down

Sometimes the car is the place where angry conversations happen. I get it. May I plead with you to roll up your window if you feel like things are getting super heated? (And by “heated,” I mean if your language won’t work on network TV.)

Please don’t flick your cigarette out of the car

I was very open with my son about the time in my life when I smoked. I told him about it because I didn’t want him ever to see a smoker as anything less than another human being on the planet. That being said, I REALLY hope he never smokes. It’s not my place to tell anyone else not to smoke, but here’s what I would appreciate: awareness. I know this is asking a lot, but if a smoker could just take a moment to see if a little kid is near before taking a drag, well that would be great. (And yeah, please don’t toss cigarettes out the window.)

Please don’t lean on the horn during rush hour or traffic jams

Honking the horn might feel good. It might get some of that ARGH!!! feeling out of you in the moment, but OMG LOUD. Also, it’s not super effective in gridlock traffic. Imagine the car behind you has a kindergartner who has just asked, “Why won’t that vehicle stop honking?”